Most of you already know, but there may be some that subscribe to this and not Facebook or my other blog. We are expecting a little bundle of joy! It's been a super long journey. 8 years almost exactly, and I'm so happy to finally be on this end of it. It's really hard to believe honestly. Every morning I wake up I have to remind myself that its real. It's a little easier to believe its real every time I wake up at 3am to use the restroom, or when I have to undo my pants button... but it was really nice today to have an ultrasound with the doctor and see that he is moving around and that his heart is beating. Such a relief. I say "He" because I firmly believe he is a he. I had a vision of my little baby boy about 7 years or so ago and I had another confirmation at my very first ultrasound when I found out that I'm not having twins, that this was a fulfillment of that vision I had 7 years ago. So I will heretofore refer to him as a he and until I confirm that in December, that will be how it is. Going through the fertility process is so interesting. I felt like I had a good head on my shoulders when we finally got down to the actual process of In Vitro, and I'm really grateful. It was only through my relationship with my Heavenly Father that I was able to have confidence in the whole process and know that although I don't know the reason for all these things, I DO know that I'm doing what he wants me to do, and that is all that really matters. I knew that if for some CRAZY reason that it didn't work, that I wouldn't be letting him down, and I wouldn't be letting myself down, because I was doing what he wanted me to do, and that's all I needed. But every time I had a doubt and I prayed that everything would work, I always heard this voice in my head saying, "It's going to work." And so, I trusted. And even the last few days when I had doubts creep in that something bad happened and the baby stopped growing or that he wasn't there anymore (normal fears by the way), I still had that trust and knowledge that whatever happens with this baby is completely up to God. It's his child after all, I'm just housing him in my belly for 9 months and then I get to have the opportunity to be his mother and take care of him, but he's God's Child, not mine. So as long as I do my part, and do everything in my power to make sure I'm healthy, and doing everything I can, the rest is up to God and I'll trust it is how it's supposed to be. My little man was moving all around today, he still looks like an alien, he looks like a little alien, but he's adorable, and I couldn't be happier.
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